This week has been a very emotional week and seems like it is never going to end. It has been a week themed with the words reflection, transformation, and wait.
These are the definitions for reflection that caught my attention in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
1. the production of an image by or as if by a mirror
2. the action of bending or folding back
3. my favorite: a transformation that involves reflection in more than one axis...
same dictionary...transform(ation)
1. to change the outward form or appearance of
2. my fav: the operation of changing
So, you are probably wondering where i am going with this.
This week the reality of losing my grandfather became clearly evident due to his declining health. I have struggled all week with my true emotions toward his death. I love him like every grandchild loves their grandparent, but for the first time in my adult life, i haven't looked at the situation as a true loss. Some of you probably know where I am heading with this, but for those who may not, let me explain. My grandfather is a child of the One and Only...God. So as my grandfather has an ailing heart, diabetes, and multiple other conditions here on this earth, i know that the moment he takes his last breath here on earth he will be with his Father and be precious in His sight.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints Psalm 116:15
So, literally my Pops will be transformed into perfection. No longer in pain, no more suffering, no more sickness period. Just like Pops was transformed when he called out to Jesus and asked for forgiveness and was made new spiritually, he will now be made new and transformed forever in Heaven. For those of us left behind, we wait. Wait until the day comes when we too will see Jesus.
from the same dictionary...wait
1. to remain stationary in readiness or expectation
2. my favorite: to look forward expectantly
As i sit here even blogging, i wait for the phone call that will be my mom or dad calling to say, "Pops is gone." I have been going over in my mind (reflecting) all the memories that i have of him and me or my family and i can only smile. Yes, my heart aches that i won't see him here on earth again, but at the same time is rejoicing to know that he will be standing at the gate waiting to greet me when my time here on earth is done.
This is not the only thing that i have been reflecting/waiting upon this week though. I have read several blogs and other things that have talked about having a healthy marriage that is defined by God (my marriage is fine, but couldn't it always be better?). I have also been thinking about the reflection i see of myself (physically, emotionally, spiritually) and how is that affecting my husband and children. My mind seems to run at 150mph all the time. Normally, i think that with God's guidance, sorting out the garbage and unnecessary happens or is forgotten. This week though, has been rough. I have prayed this week seeking the answers to the questions, why now and why pops? I have asked where does God see my marriage and what about how He sees me? I have asked about school and whether it is truly God's plan for me in this season of my life. There are several other questions that i have prayed over in the past week, but there are three themes that have been constant in everything i have read in my quiet time and elsewhere, watched on TV, and then last night at our Wednesday night service. They are wait, reflection, and transformation.
I am overwhelmed by the grace and the mercy that God has for us. We don't deserve it, but yet freely He gives it. I think that just as the new season of autumn brings new colors on the leaves, a cooler temperature in the air, and transforms our landscapes into something different, God is doing that with me too. Transforming me to be more like Him so that when people see me, they see a reflection of Him. He is also requiring me to wait on His perfect timing....these are all processes that i am admittedly not very good at, but through God's grace, love, and mercy I will continue to run the race in which He intended for me.
and we, with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18
I began this post yesterday, Sept 16th. It is now Friday and my grandfather passed away last night. He has been made perfect and oh, how i long to be where he is....with my Lord!
and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7
a pic of my grandparents taken last year...
